Saturday, December 31, 2011

Friday With My Kids


I took my kids to Universal Studios this afternoon.  It was so crowded we really didn’t do much at all but it was simply fun to spend time with them.  Then on the way home, I had to fulfill a promise and buy an X-Box 360 and Kinect.  I’m sitting here watching my son play Halo Reach and it’s kind of cool.  I used to be a gamer but it has been several  years since I was into that.  My daughter is here too with her boyfriend Julian and we are all having a nice evening.  We were talking about my  blog on the way home (my kids thought the "reasons I’m a moron" post was particularly funny) and  they asked me what VTwinWriter meant and I suppose I could briefly explain how I came up with that name.  I ride a motorcycle.  It’s a 2001 Suzuki Intruder 1500 cruiser and it has been a great bike.  I bought it in the summer of 2001 and it has been good to me all these years.  Like most motorcycles it has a V-Twin engine.  Two cylinders in a V shape.  And since I like to ride, I’ve used the moniker of “VTwinRider” before for certain online signups etc.  So when I decided to start a blog, I was trying to think of a name and when “VTwinWriter” popped in my head, I thought it was the perfect blog name.  I like to ride motorcycles and I like to write.  I hope that helps explain the name.  I hope everyone had a great Christmas and the New Year is kind to all. 

Peace

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Silver Lining


Muscles strain and sweat beads roll
The straps of the pack on my back dig in, take their toll
Mud slides over felled trees
Crushed bone...weak knees
Caught between granite and a flowing stream
Taking comfort in blades of green

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Reasons I'm a Moron


Reason I'm a moron: I stop at green lights because I know they'll turn red at some point.


Reason I'm a moron: I cut my own hair (I really do).


Reason I'm a moron: I fall too damned hard...either in love or on my ass.


Reason I'm a moron: I iron my boxers (not really).


Reason I'm a moron: I want everyone else to be happy even if I'm not.


Reason I'm a moron: I have the urge to ride my motorcycle naked.


Reason I'm a moron: I................................................................................procrastinate.


Reason I'm a moron: I developed adult acne a few years ago.  What a douche!


Reason I'm a moron: After a filet mignon and a bottle of cab I can make a toilet cry.


Reason I'm a moron: I still help people who spurned me (working on that one). 


Reason I'm a moron: I've been playing guitar for years and I still suck.


Reason I'm a moron: I tell my son that if he screws up, I'll "break his colon".  


Reason I'm a moron: I look before I leap and leap anyway.


Reason I'm a moron: I can't find my ass with both hands.


Reason I'm a moron: I write reasons explaining why I'm a moron.

Sunken Treasure


Standing on the rocky shore, nudging the splintered paddle below
Body and mind ache from my broken life

Eyeing the line of the heavens and earth
Stunned at lost vessels faltering by

Dots glowing and fading in life’s dance with death
Searching for a moment of solace within each day’s breath

I…MAKE…I!  Screaming with rage
What have I wrought, where is my course? 
Eyes search for those in my skeletal cage

Brushing away shards of a world I once knew
Can’t shake the longing… fear wells within

Searching for water on a blistering day
Wondering if whirlpools will stand in my way
Put my soul in a box and lock it away

Her ship’s wake spreads to the ends of the seas
The engine’s echo…a waterlogged dream
A blip on a screen out of range of my being
Something wonderful I’m no longer seeing

I love her so…she’s in my heart
I reach to her as pixels fade and fall apart

Back to the start, wearing weary skin
Angry at starting over again

Fumbling with boards…spilling nails
Building a comfort for watery rails
Thirst builds as I wonder if I’ll sink or sail

Searching for water on a blistering day
Wondering if whirlpools will stand in my way
Put my soul in a box and lock it away
I wrote this in Feb of 2006 on a plane ride home.  

Dots on my horizon...drawing closer?

My pilot settles to his controls
My thoughts orbit as anchorless souls
Pen to paper brings comfort as a story unfolds

Men rise and fall through the tides of time
Writing their stories as I'm writing mine
Darting their eyes and drinking their wine
Facing the fruits of their wandering minds

Glaring down and seeing the end
Pondering if loved ones will see me again
Scale the tower and lean to one side
A breath of wind will end my faltering pride

I squint to view the dots once again
Is that heaven awaiting or hell within
Will this time end and the truth begin
Or will I be damned by the ultimate sin

As my horizon toys with me
Obscuring my dots when I turn to see
I rely on reason so that I can be

Dots on my horizon...Torturing me.

Monday, December 26, 2011

A Note About Jobs


In this crazy economy, there are a lot of people out of work.  I have been fortunate enough to be making the most money I’ve ever made at this point in my life…but it has come with a price. 

My dream job was going well a few years ago.  I worked for a company that sold healthcare IT products to radiology clinics.  They used the software that I’m a specialist in (OnBase) to manage the patient documentation.  It was a great job because there wasn’t much travel and I could often work from home.  I usually did work from home and then go to the office in Daytona Beach to teach a class on occasion.   And I would fly to customer sites when it was time to go live with the products. 

There was a rumor that we were getting bought by an investment firm.  My company told us that it would most likely be business as usual.  At the last minute, a different company swooped in and overbid the investment firm by quite a lot of money which shocked us all.  After the purchase, they started laying people off left and right.  I was on a conference call with the new president and he said that everyone on the call was safe.  Then I received an email after the call was over stating that I had 90 days left.  Apparently they decided to scrap OnBase and develop their own document management product and I would no longer be needed.  Nice.  By the way, this happened a month after I bought a house. 

So I went into a scramble to find a new job.  I was hired as a contractor by a reseller of OnBase.  That was a good company with a good bunch of people.  I enjoyed the work…it was challenging.  And the pay was nice, but it was still contract work which is still an unstable position.  I should have been saving the money but I wasn’t.  For example, last year for Christmas I bought two trees, a gel fireplace, and some nice gifts for my family (the family I used to have). 

In January of last year, the company I was contracting for drew up an offer to bring me in full time.  I was ready to accept but they put the offer on hold to see if some more deals were going to close. 

This past March I was in a wedding in Punta Gorda Florida.  I got a call from a company that had talked to me before.  It’s a healthcare IT consulting company.  I was intrigued by the offer but the one thing that stuck in my head was the frequency of travel.  I was supposed to be onsite Monday through Thursday every week and attempt to put in 40 hours of work during that time (no, the travel time didn’t count).  I figured I would just wow them with my abilities and at some point; they would relax the travel requirement.  After all, about 99% of what I was doing could have been done here, where I’m sitting and typing this in my office in Florida.  I’ve been a remote employee for years and it seems silly to spend such a large amount of money to fly me up there every week.  I would go to my cubicle (I hate that word!) and open my consulting laptop and do things I could have done at home. 

At first, the job was cool because it was new and I didn’t know how it was going to go.  After a few months of flying each week, it started to wear on me.  I became irritable and moody.  I felt isolated up there because I didn’t really know anyone or spend time with anyone.  I sat in my hotel room missing the ones I loved…very lonely. 

I was in a relationship back then.  I asked her to quit because she really didn’t like her job and I figured since I was making more money, I could keep things going while she worked on her personal business and a special project she was involved with.  Plus, my Friday’s were very light days and I figured we could spend more time together if she wasn’t working.  That decision was not a good one.  Unfortunately, it took her 4 months to start making money again and I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders during that time.  I was paying for everything and there is a lot of pressure there.  Plus the fact that I was not enjoying the work and it affected my mood which ultimately affected my relationship.  I felt trapped in that job and that other jobs would be hard to find at that salary level.  My frustration level increased.

It was essentially turning into a nightmare.  Then in October, she started working again and I was so much happier.  I was looking for a new job and I was starting to gain some ground in that area.  Well…(sigh)…even though things were getting better, she decided to leave.  I have been devastated ever since (as you may be able to tell from some of my other posts). 

On this past Friday, I had a job interview and nailed it.  It looks like a great opportunity and I found out today that they want to bring me in.  It’s a contract job but the initial term is one year and they expect to extend that at least another year.  Also, they asked me about eventually becoming a full time employee.  That’s what I’ve been looking for since I was laid off so I told them that I’m very interested.   I have a few concerns but they seem to be very open to remote work since one of the persons who interviewed me lives in a different state and I voiced my concern about that on the interview call. 

In a nutshell, I would be working for a state (I’ll leave that info out for now) who is retooling their Medicaid eligibility program and they are using OnBase to manage that system.  They are also affiliated with a nearby university and that school will also be using OnBase for various projects.  I’m excited because I’ll be getting my hands on the software again.  I was not doing that much technically with this consulting project and I don’t need my technical skills to deteriorate. 

This opportunity couldn’t have come at a better time.  In all honesty, I’ve been suffering since she left.  I’m slowly getting back on track and this new job will hopefully be just what I needed.  Interestingly enough, that company that I contracted for after getting laid off is the software vendor for this state agency.  Small world!  I’m happy about that too.  I know that there are good people there.  

I’m not looking for sympathy, but this was my first Christmas alone.  It was no fun at all.  It was the first year I didn’t receive a gift…(well, my mom sent gift cards).  But when I got the call today about the job….that was my gift.  I hope it plays out well.

I hope anyone who takes the time to read this had a great Christmas and has a fantastic new year. 

Oh, and I’m renting a tux and going to a James Bond themed New Year’s Eve party at the Enzian Theater in Maitland with some friends.  It should be interesting.  I’ll be thinking of her at midnight though…(sigh). 

Peace

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Captain Handi



I developed a character a while back.  His name is Captain Handi and he’s mentally handicapped.  Now before anyone gets out of joint about this let me say a few things about handicapped people.  My ex-wife has spent a lot of time in her career working with mentally handicapped people.  I assisted with a lot of events such as taking them bowling or to Cleveland Indians games.  I have bonded with several of them and they are the sweetest most lovable people because they have the innocence of children.  So when I thought up Capt Handi, I looked at the character as a tribute to these wonderful people.  There is something to be said about their child-like innocence  Here’s my latest interview with Captain Handi.  I hope you like him as much as I do.

Steve:  So Captain Handi, I hear that you’re looking forward to Christmas.

Capt. Handi:  I like July fourth too…but the rockeths scare me.

Steve:  Why do they scare you?

Capt. Handi:  They make loud noithes and it hurths my ears.  Do you know Sthanta?

Steve:  You mean Santa Claus?  No, I don’t know him but it’s that time of year.  Do you want anything special for Christmas?

Capt. Handi:  I want…I would like….I could be pleased with….ummm….

Steve:  Go ahead Captain….no rush.

Capt Handi:  Some Cheetoths!!

Steve:  That’s all you want?

Capt Handi:  And a talking toilet!  They make thosth in Japan you know. 

Steve:  Wow, that’s quite a gift list.

Capt Handi:  YETH!!!

Steve:  So why do they call you Captain Handi?

Capt Handi:  Becauth I’m handicapped….GEEZ LADY!!

Steve:  Okay, I suppose that makes sense.  What are your plans for Christmas?

Capt Handi:  I’m gonna get a bunch of dogs to pull my sled around the world and give thingth to stuff.

Steve:  That sounds like what Santa does…he has reindeer pull a sleigh around the world and gives things to children that are nice.

Capt Handi:  (confused look) What are you talkin about lady??

Steve:  You know….Santa Claus.  You’ve heard of him right?

Capt Handi:  Oh yeah, the skinny guy in the green suit?

Steve:  Close enough.  I heard that you have a theme song, is that true?

Capt Handi:  YETHHH!!!  Want to listen to me singing it to you so that you can hear my thong and maybe you might like the way my thong thounds and….and…..and

Steve:  Okay, let’s hear it!

Capt Handi:  (the old Oscar Meyer wiener song is how this goes)  Oh I wish I were a captain handi handi cap, everyone would be in love with meeee!!!!  I wish I were a captain handi handi cap, I'm as just as confused and complicated as I can beeee!!!!!!!!!!!

Steve:  Wow, that was great!  I think you might have a hit song on your hands.

Capt Handi:  (looking at his hands)  I just have thith old gum on thith one and dirt on thith one.

Steve:  Well thank you for coming in today Captain Handi.  I hope you have a wonderful Christmas!

Capt Handi:  THANKTH LADY!!

I hope you liked Captain Handi.  He’s often “confused and complicated” as he stated but he means well and he cares about others.  He’s sometimes aggravated quickly but if you know any children, that’s standard operating procedure.  If you liked him let me know and I’ll bring more interviews to the blog.   



Pulse

Wax and wane, flirting insane
Touch earth flitting on twisting grain
Wax and wane, songs urbane
Streams of pulse welcomed again
Wax and wane, blood and pain
Lug my satchel of soured champagne
Wax and wane, cleansing rain
Taxing thoughts of a dying brain
Wax and wane, to end profane
Or to be…as me…on a distant plane

Friday, December 23, 2011

Selfish Concerns

I wrote this shortly after my November trauma...try to explain it in the comments section if you like:

Selfish concerns, money filled urns
Keep life simple, grasped, close
Keep life from ones who need it most
Play it safe; abandon faith
Tuck in my heart to avoid the strafe

Selfish concerns, money filled urns
Life is to share not bury in haste
When all is lost, where is treasure?
Lost forever
Lost forever

Selfish concerns, money filled urns
Rusted tracks littered with dreams that burned
Lined faces, withered brows
Closing veins, permanent scowls
Think of the day that you adjourn
What’s etched on your shackles when you take your turn
Release your spurn and get many returns
Or stand alone….with selfish concerns and money filled urns