Reasons I'm a Moron

Reason I'm a moron: I stop at green lights because I know they'll turn red at some point.


Reason I'm a moron: I cut my own hair (I really do).


Reason I'm a moron: I fall too damned hard...either in love or on my ass.


Reason I'm a moron: I iron my boxers (not really).


Reason I'm a moron: I want everyone else to be happy even if I'm not.


Reason I'm a moron: I have the urge to ride my motorcycle naked.


Reason I'm a moron: I................................................................................procrastinate.


Reason I'm a moron: I developed adult acne a few years ago.  What a douche!


Reason I'm a moron: After a filet mignon and a bottle of cab I can make a toilet cry.


Reason I'm a moron: I still help people who spurned me (working on that one). 


Reason I'm a moron: I've been playing guitar for years and I still suck.


Reason I'm a moron: I tell my son that if he screws up, I'll "break his colon".  


Reason I'm a moron: I look before I leap and leap anyway.


Reason I'm a moron: I can't find my ass with both hands.


Reason I'm a moron: I write reasons explaining why I'm a moron.